Stages of Grief, perseverance, and a message of hope from Mommy Black
This video might be a little difficult to watch (imagine how hard it was for me to film!); but, I think it's really important to make for a number of reasons. It was incredibly cathartic for me to be able to express what I've been going through. Whether it was mainly driven by altruism, ego, or the need to take back ownership of the conversation, I'm not sure. Maybe a little of everything?
I also feel like, because ageplay is such a taboo subject, there isn't a lot of information about what it's really like to be in an ABDL relationship. I see a lot of fantasy-driven videos or snapshots in time of the ideal lifestyle (I, myself, am guilty of perpetuating this myth); but, I think it's important to also include the ugly side of these partnerships. While it can be unbelievably rewarding, there's also a slick, slippery slope that you can find yourself barreling down if you don't proceed with caution.
I only recently discovered that I had been in such a rabbit hole, falling without even really knowing it (hindsight, they say is 20/20). Instead of festering in the muck and the mire, I'd rather use my experiences to try to prevent other relationships from developing into lopsided patterns. Like "The Giving Tree," we as Caregivers can slip into the trap of giving and giving until there's nothing left of us. We want to do our best to make sure that our littles feel unconditionally loved and accepted. We want to make them happy. It makes us feel good.
But, when your relationship turns one-sided and you're not getting your needs met, and no matter how hard you try, things don't change, it's time to take control back of your life. I can confirm that it's not easy. This breakup is one of the most difficult that I've had because, within the ABDL relationship, there are so many deeper levels of attachment. Your little becomes your everything - they become a part of your soul.
My goal is to not only validate that this is way more difficult than I ever thought it would be, but to provide support and empowerment to others who are contemplating making such a move. We're so used to putting the needs of our littles before ours, that it's challenging to make such a life-changing decision based on our needs.
But, you have to. You deserve happiness too. And even though it is so painful, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Use your gift of compassion and love to care for yourself the same way that you have for your little. Give yourself time and space to mourn.
Hopefully this video helps others as much as it has for me making it.
Sending you all love and light,
Ms Mommy Black