A note by Mommy Black
Mommy Boo and I often talk about the gift of instinct and how it can be very different for survivors of childhood abuse. Instinct is that strange feeling you get when you meet someone and something they do doesn’t seem quite right. You sometimes hear it referred to as a “little red flag.” It can be very subtle: just a quick, fleeting, icky feeling. Or it can be strong and can cause a more obvious physical reaction in you.
Mommy Boo says that she’s had to take a different approach with her instinctive reaction. She says that when she finds herself attracted to someone, she recognizes that it’s actually a bad thing. Because of her childhood, the people to whom she was exposed were also abusive. And while her body and her psyche are drawn to what’s known and comfortable (the little red flags), her mind knows better. She has to make a concerted effort to go against her initial instinct.
I think that due to the nature of the ABDL community, instinct can sometimes be thrown out the window. We all so desperately want to be loved, or, as a Caregiver, show your little that they are worthy of unconditional love, but there has to be a point where your own self-worth needs to come first.
Yes, it’s terrifying to think of living a life without your partner, but when your instincts are throwing red flags at you like it’s the largest color guard in the Macy’s Day Parade, please listen. When you're in an ABDL relationship where your partner is not honest with you nor do they respect you (listen for the waiving of the little flags), you have to find value within yourself. It's okay if you're the love of your own life. You should be!
Sending you all my love,
Mommy Black
